Unlocking my mountain (s).
If I may ask, what do you think makes you tough? Have you ever found yourself at an arms-reach with something you really wanted and had worked hard for but didn't quite work out? How did that feel?
Now imagine deciding to give it another try. This time round, you are not as afraid of the unknown as you are of reliving the heartbreak of attempt 1. But you push through. Your body tries to tell you no, but soon enough, it catches up with your stubborn spirit.
Last year, I attempted to get to the top of Mount Kenya but had to turn back mid-way during the summit attempt due to health reasons. It was one of the hardest decisions even though I knew that the mountain would always be there, and my health comes first. My heart was broken. I'd spent 3 months training for it and it felt like it was all for nothing. I forgot that in those three months, I met new people, became a better hiker, and expanded my mental resilience.
Looking back, it was the best decision I made (didn't feel like it then) because it saved my health, built the hunger and motivated me to try again. So I signed up again. This time round, the battle was mental. My mind gave me all the reasons to back out because 'we can always do it another time'. The mountains are not going anywhere, remember? And I almost backed out. I had a conversation with someone who reminded that we now knew what we are dealing with (health wise), which meant we that were better equipped. I had to dig deep and keep reassuring myself that we were prepared. Even then, the mountain ALWAYS has the last say - this made me nervous. So I wrote a letter, asking if she would accept me this time round.
And she did because on 20th July, my knees and palms rested on Mount Kenya's Point Lenana, the highest point in Kenya reachable by foot💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾. The rest is emotions I'm still processing 😊.
So, what did I learn?
- We can still jump in victory on grounds that broke us.
- The invaluable power of support - someone reminding you that you can do it, a hug from a stranger, a kind smile from another, and a shoulder squeeze from someone who sees you, are all hugs to a determined but tired spirit.
- Getting to the top takes a village. Literally! the people you meet along your path who cheer you on, those we trust with our dreams as we do the work, selfless and extremely kind strangers (my local guides) who will be the wind beneath your tired wings.
- It's okay to be afraid. Fear is my friend. She is here to keep me alive. It's her job. As long as she's not in the driver's seat, she can come along.
- One foot in front of the other, however slowly you are moving (especially when things get hard). When we got past 4700m above sea level, every single step felt like a 100m sprint. But I kept moving - however slowly.
- The sky is not the limit. YOUR MIND IS.
- I can do extremely difficult things.
Thank you so much to the remarkable team at Outdoorer KE for walking this journey with me.
